In this story Orphan Boy, the old man was looking at the sky for a long time that he can remember how many stars are in he sky. One day, he notice that one star was missing from the Sky. After noticing, he meet with Kileken. Kilekin had a hidden power and he actually prove it to the old man. The old mad dicided to take Kileken home with him. But the time goes, the old man wanted to ask a lot of question to Kileken but he couldn't. After awhile, Kileken was gone to the sky and be the one of the stars and never came back again.
the picture is vary nice it really represents kileken and the summary of your orphan boy is still has all the info you didn't take out anything.
ReplyDeleteP.S:yours is shorter then joeys.
Hi! I'm Anh! First, I really like your picture! It show the star like the sky that the old man scan every night! But in third sentence the word: "said" don't need to be capitalized. And I think the grammar is quite good but i think is should be pat tense so you can fix it! Overall, your paragraph is good!
ReplyDeleteHi it's me JUN!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~
ReplyDeletein your paragraph you typed:the old man was looking at the sky all day long.
looking at the sky all day long means you kept on watching for the whole day....
in the second sentence you wrote "he meet with a one kileken."... you can just write "he met kilken.".
Kileken didn't say that he can make a wish.... he had a hidden power for the drought...
why did kileken go and never came back?
the old man can those questions but he kept it inside....
there're some typing errors in your paragraph.
I love the picture! I can understand most of the parts that your "typing" about, nicely done :)